My Portfolio is in the Ebryotic Stage...

The final component to my Master's program is not a thesis paper, but a comprehensive portfolio of my professional and educational experience as it relates to the Reading, Writing, and Literacy program. For me, the central component of my experience relates to change...how my views about theory and practice has changed, my ideas and perceptions about people, issues, and other things relating to education has changed, and ultimately, how I have changed...

These past two weeks have been like a brilliant brain breakthrough (see that alliteration) for me. Well, as I think about it, it's not really a breakthrough, because my practicum has been very influential, class discussions, conversations, etc, but maybe this is my "ah ha" moment... All these small things began to take shape after I reflected on my time at the conference on higher education, then I came across a concept in one of my course readings, and finally, GSE's 28th Ethnography Forum that took place this weekend was the pinnacle.

There were 3 key conversations that really had an impact on my pondering of education as it relates to "parallel cultures" (Virginia Hamilton's more accurate way of referring to "minorities"): The Ethnography of Misery: Teaching and Learning in the Midst of Suffering (Ladson-Billings), Do You Really Know Me?: Understanding the Issues Affecting African American Males, and What am I Supposed to Do With This?: White Student-Teachers' Responses to Black Students' Accusations of Racism.

My brain started cooking when Ladson-Billings discussed the pain or misery that we as individuals, families, communities, whole ethnic groups, and societies face. She correlated this "misery" to the struggle of students and teachers...before we as teachers can reach students and before students are able to be open to learning, we not only have to get to the core of their misery, but we must also understand and address our own misery. For example, you cannot expect a student to come to school and be prepared to learn if mommy never came home last night, or if daddy went to jail.

The next session I attended, which was a panel discussion with about 5 people who research(ed) issues affecting African American Males. This session posed the question: Do You Really Know Me? In order to reach our students, we must know them. Knowing them extends beyond knowing them as learners or students, but as individuals and people of society...knowing their misery. However, one of the presented highlighted the importance of knowing one's self as the primary prerequisite for knowing one's students. If you don't know who you are, as a person, as a member or your own cultural background and society, as a person of your gender, as a teacher, as a learner, etc...there is no way for you to know your students. This conversation has prompted me to go back and review my "Who Am I?" paper, because that was my way of getting to the core of my "evolving self".

In another session I attended two individuals presented their research findings on the issue of how White student-teachers deal with or respond to Black students accusations of racism. They presented their findings across a continuum - at one end there were the preservice teachers who were completely open to hearing and responding to students in responsive manners while at the other end were the preservice teachers who dismissed students' concerns and were completely close-minded. The fact of the matter is that students want and need to talk about race, among other taboo issues that schools seem to omit (class, SES, poverty, etc.), which leads back to the ethnography of misery and knowing yourself and your students...